CHARACTERS (not a complete list)

“Pilot” - the main character. She’s a single 18-year-old girl looking for her soul mate.

Gena - Pilot’s best friend. She works in a diner downtown.

Mistra (MEE' strah') - a rich snob. She turns to a life of crime to make herself richer.

Mistar - Pilot’s first crush and Mistra’s younger brother. He once turned to a life of crime and tries to make up for it by turning to a life of crime-stopping.

Pong - a bright-eyed boy from Pilot’s homeland. People believe they’re a match because they “look good together” though Pilot finds him annoying.

Darcee - A quiet loner and has-been detective who loves to laze around and drink coffee. Not many people can get through to him, but Pilot can.

Leon - Pilot’s future brother-in-law. He’s a good chef, except that he constantly sheds and can only cook with colored ingredients.

Layla - Pilot’s meaner, prettier, taller, lazier, older sister. Pilot has always been a little jealous of her ,and they do not get along well.

Grady - Gena’s little brother. He hangs out at the diner and is good friends with Pong.

Elmo - Gena’s husband and match. He owns the diner.

Ziggy - a wealthy foreigner dedicated to helping the environment. He’s somewhat of an outcast, and Pilot is one of the few friends he has.

Dyle - a young chef who works with Leon in the “horse kitchen“. He has an off-putting horn on his forehead that can be easily hidden by his hat.

Panto - homeless foreigner. Panto is mute and will do pantomime, tricks, strip-tease, and other odd jobs for money.

Ever - a child star, delinquent, and friend of Pong‘s. Not much is known about his origins, but his “star power” is world renowned.

Bo - a proud member of the Polar Patrol (artic-based rescue team). He is a noble do-gooder who believes Pilot is his match because a giant talking polar bear, his mentor, told him so.

John John - the smart-alecky neighborhood paperboy. He rivals with Pong in many ways.

Aremy ("AIR" ruh' mee') - a childhood friend of Pilot’s who works in fast-food. He’s obsessed with flight and becoming a pilot because he was born with wings but cannot fly.

Östen (AU' stehn') - a computer-loving college nerd Pilot’s age. Though a native of Monoy, he somehow sports a big slimy green lizard tail.

Gavin - a small orphan boy who‘s afraid of the color red. He is a smart for his age but can only communicate by writing and mooing, which can be understood by animals but not people.

Lola - Pilot’s mother. She is the motherly, inviting type who shares her home with Leon and Layla.

Pontius - Pilot’s father. He’s an old, somewhat senile war veteran and former pilot who gave Pilot her commonly used nickname.

Bruce - Pong’s baby brother. He resembles their mother, but his father seems to favor him more.

Poncio - Pong’s father. He’s a rugged farmer who resents his son’s immaturity.

Peaches - Pong’s mother. She usually has the baby in one arm and is cooking something with the other.

Tammy - Pong’s equally cheerful childhood friend. This large young lady has always had a little crush on him, but would never admit it.

Artie - aka Mooseboy is one of Grady’s friends. He’s adventurous and bossy around peers, but he and his dad don’t always see eye to eye.

Arturo - a high-strung schoolteacher and book writer. He is highly concerned with “tolerance“ (how people deal with real tails, real horns, etc.) and is intent on teaching his son Artie HIS way of doing things.

Franchetta - Artie‘s older sister. She has a thing for the paperboy and loyally follows him around, although the feeling is not always mutual.

Roz - Artie’s mom. She’s a fast-talking southern gal that doesn’t play around and ironically likes hunting, which is how she met her husband.

Billiam - Grady’s friend. He doesn’t say much and never appears to know what’s going on.

Chief Choff - the police chief. He’s an angry older man who loves cats.

Pastel - a reporter for 3TV. She is sometimes a rival to Pilot.

Dubois (doo' BWAH') - a cameraman. He is Pastel’s sorta kinda boyfriend.

Trapper - the smarter of two idiot troublemakers. He is a pint-sized schemer.

Pat - the dumber of two idiot troublemakers. He is Trapper’s bigger, younger brother, possibly made dumber by so many blows to the head.

Wrigley - a usually kindly (but nasty if you cross him) man who shares a bond with some insects. He lost his legs in an accident and a 2^nd head regenerated in its place.

Barber - Pilot’s boss. Pilot tries to avoid him because he’s such a creepy old man.

Ruben - an office worker. If he has papers to file, he cannot be stopped.

Sakhri (SAH' kree') - Sabri Sacha’s snide older brother. He was dishonorably discharged from the army which nonetheless inspired Sabri to become a policeman.

Safari - Sabri Sacha’s talkative younger brother. He likes to pretend he can fly and fight crime like Sabri, but he can’t.

Ferrari - Sabri Sacha’s mother. She and her husband are immigrants and don’t speak much English.

Samedi (SAHM' dee') - Sabri Sacha’s father. He is a merchant who doesn’t speak English.

Sacha (SAH' chah') - a small, young policeman who is able to fly. He enjoys eating junk food, is afraid of bugs, and can‘t stay focused for very long.

Denny - a burly motorcycle cop. Though he looks intimidating, he’s a jolly and friendly fellow who loves the color red and red meat.

Tesh - a police sketch artist. He is practical and logical on the job, but he as an artistic side.

Biesel (BEE' zehl') - an overconfident police officer. He likes to do things his way, shooting first and asking questions later.

Bishop - a goody-two-shoes police officer who was transferred from another department. He’s usually stuck in the “pawn pit” with his twin sister at the police station.

Brooke - the only female police officer. She is very different from her twin brother Bishop and would rather be out on the streets than holding down the fort.

Golde (GOHL' dee') - a pimp of sorts. His long, golden mane is the source of his power over women (and those chiseled abs and sexy voice ain’t bad either).

Swan Prince - a magical prince from a fairytale kingdom, or so he believes. He’s obsessed with swans.

Stikki - a boneless circus performer. His glorious singing voice and snakelike movements are hypnotic.

Bossman - a washed-up old clown who wants to entertain children again. The fact that he can’t make his own son laugh or smile has made him bitter and dark, well that amongst other things.

Pierre - Bossman’s son. He is always unhappy and cries a lot for unknown reasons which depresses his father.

Benton Fox - the hot new detective on the street, Darcee‘s replacement as it were. Ironically, he is dressed as an owl, while Darcee Owl is dressed as a fox.

Um Bongo (oom' BAHN' goh') - a teenaged caveman who was frozen by the Ice Age. He was defrosted by idiot scientists and went on a typical but ironic giant monster rampage.

Fur Elise - a snooty old woman with a mustache. She loves furs and gold and happens to be Golde’s mother.

Milo - a fireman in training. He is one of three hot-headed triplets that are almost immune to fire and don‘t take their job seriously, but he is the calmest.

Kasey - a fireman in training. He is one of three hot-headed triplets that are almost immune to fire and don‘t take their job seriously, but he is the most stubborn.

Duke - a fireman in training. He is one of three hot-headed triplets that are almost immune to fire and don‘t take their job seriously, but he is the silliest.

Ralph - the fire chief who is disappointed in his sons‘ lack of discipline. It’s believed that his sons look the way they do because he spent so much of his lifetime dealing with fires.

Clovia - a young woman who works in the flower shop. She lets her looks go to her head, but she’s actually quite intelligent.

LES ANIMAUX

Panna - Pilot’s pet panda. He is a lot more active than her other pet, more like the leader of the two.

Piqui (PEE' kwee') - Pilot’s pet penguin. He is a nervous wreck and is sort of Panna’s sidekick.

Sheepy Jr. - Pong’s pet sheep. She is scared of everything because other sheep on the farm were constantly attacked and eaten by red-eyed coyotes.

Barky - Ralph’s pet dalmatian and mascot of the 3HFD. He keeps a dumb look on his face and always barks in twos.

Bartleby - Barber’s sinister looking pet penguin. He sometimes acts as a spy or henchman and will laugh evilly with Barber in a cute high-pitched voice.

Oedipus-Rex - Um Bongo’s pet dinosaur. He’s the prehistoric equivalent of a puppy dog.